I would like to focus on women's dance and following. We women often know what we want to experience in a dance, but can we bring balance to the couple and do we know what our role is?

“I'll let myself be led”, “I'll leave it to him”, “he's a leader”…

There are statements that are true, but it doesn't mean that we women have to rob ourselves of our place and our power in a couple.

Even though in a couple dance there is one leader and one follower, we still create a balance and are 50/50. Each of us has an important role and responsibility for what we do.

I also came to this knowledge gradually and I have different stories through dance, which I am grateful for, because my range is really diverse and I can now easily perceive what is functional, pleasant and where my place is.

I love talking to women and bringing up many topics. I'm interested in how we see it... One of them is female following. A lot of women live under the assumption that really everything is the partner's job, he will lead us there. This assumption could easily have arisen from the fact that when a woman dances with a better leader, she will dance even what she doesn't know, because he will lead her into it. It doesn't work from the other side. A better follower doesn't get partner into more complex figures or new movement patterns.

It is important to remember that men need to learn the dance and the lead technically first. They learn how to drive. Us women...

Their task is not easy at all, and they have my sincere admiration for the perseverance and discomfort they need to go through at the beginning. Why do I know this? Because I also learned and am learning how to lead. And this skill has opened up a new dimension of dance for me. 

Most of us want leaders to guide us in a pleasant, safe, and readable way, and ESPECIALLY to put some emotion into it as well. :) 

This comes gradually, dear ladies, and we can help them incredibly. If we want men to drive a red Ferrari, we have to be one first. If we want kings, let's be queens.

You know I'm not referring to the visuals?

The fact that we dress nicely, put on make-up, take care of our look is a super bonus, which men of course appreciate. But it doesn't help our dancing or the couple's dancing.

Dancing with a beautiful woman who pulls the handbrake and a 60 kg body becomes an 80 kg body and a guy gets wet is not a pleasure. Dance is not meant to be about strength, pushing through, giving up, abandoning, collapsing, pushing, pulling, carrying, hanging, squeezing, stiffening…

So what do men need from us so they can learn to lead?

• to be able to stand on our own feet, on our own
• to have quality weight transfer
• to keep the frame and not look for the extreme. Either too much relaxation or too much force. (Please, ladies, don't ask for stronger leading from men.)
• To go when they send us somewhere, without evaluating whether I'm doing it right, whether I'm enough, and similar mental constructs that our minds can create. We just follow what we feel.
• just follow, don't add more. If we want to add more, it's important to evaluate when and how, so that it doesn't spill over into the frame and disturb the leader. Playing with dynamics is very conscious work. 
• to not save. Sometimes we know what they want from us and we go there even though they don't lead us into it properly. As a result, we go alone and the men are under the assumption that they are leading well.
• To not be afraid of being in the feeling of not being in control. When we get into the follower mentality, it's just flow. Tension and control has no place there anymore. Just as long as you control YOUR body.
• so that we don't hang on to them, because they carry themselves, they create, they watch the space and they listen to the music. 
• to WANT to follow, to want to hear what they want from us. This is what I call an active follower who is waiting for the signal and is fully concentrated. She doesn't say hello to the people around her, doesn't roll her eyes... but is in the present moment, in her body. This is how we can learn a lot, even from leaders who are just starting out. Because we need to maintain our quality while giving him feedback on what he's creating. 
• not to fall into a collapse, but to be able to keep your body active throughout the dance
• so that we have a correctly coded gait. We use the wisdom of our body. Foot by foot, the same stride length to ensure our stability. If you happen to hunch your legs, trip, you are probably already using reason, which is the enemy of female following. 
• to breathe. Dance is a contact dance and we transmit our emotions through touch, both positive and negative such as stress or distrust. What do we want to transmit to each other?

More could be written, of course, but this is the basis by which we improve our dancing and the men will feel that it goes in ease…

And we have "only" contributed to creating the balance. 

Of course, we won't improve by reading an article like this, but the next time we get on the floor, we can look at our dancing differently and improve our quality. Let's be interested in what following is and how to be a better partner. Not how to know the steps and remember the choreography. This is not so necessary for us, the followers. 

Let's create a space for men where they feel valued and respected. It doesn't matter what level of dance they are at. Let's keep our 50 percent pure, conscious and humble. Let's be queens. :)

I'll be happy if we ever meet on the dance floor together...

Women's dance is a beautiful topic that changes a woman's life. A man can respond to it pleasantly. :)